lynes journal

2009-06-02T04:30:00.000-07:00

Good luck PVA,tomorrow will be our exam =) jia you!

yeah right tomorrow VP exam and here i am blogging,just had biscuit and milo again for my lunch and dinner,taste rather nice actually =) simple meal for me will be enough,wanted to cook instant noodle but due to my laziness so i stick to milo and biscuit instead,i wanted to change my blogskin but i can't find one that i like so maybe i would just stick to this for the time being,rather bored rotting at home the whole day just to study but frankly speaking i am not the study type so when ever i look into the book and try to study,i would feel tired =p haha weird doo lol,okay times up!! got to get back to study again...byeee

2009-06-01T04:37:00.000-07:00

currently now in the library studying while at the same time playing=) hehehe went there after straight after school and i just got myself a new lappy skins to protect it from scratchers ,love it so much but sad to say,it cost me half a bomb...went to bugis to try out the laksa and it is really nice! awesome i should say,but the laksa can't eat with chop stix but only with spoon =) next time i wanna try the duck rice near the bugis street!!! food food food~~ still feeling hungry after eating 2 bowl of it,mum told me that we will be having a family gathering soon after my holiday as she want me to take this chance to relax myself,i am really looking forward to it we haven had family gathering for years as all of us are rather busy with our own stuff

2009-05-30T20:22:00.000-07:00

wooohooo holiday approaching soon man =D finally can sleep like nobody business,today woke up early and my mum talked to me when i am sleeping -___- anyway waiting for the D grey man season 2 to be out,hope soon,better still if it is out during the holiday...yesterday went shopping then went back home quite late,to my dearest sis,will be going out with her soon after exams so don't say that i'm not good okay...currently feeling bored at home now..anyway for the project stuff,what have happened had happen,nothing much i can do or say if you guys still want to argue about it,don't put all the blame on me because in the end the video i am not the only one who is going to get the mark,all the people in the group is at fault, in the first place on set you guys were already late,after the shoot you guys didn't come to school,did the editing last minute,the day before the submission and on the submission day itself you guys didn't turn up and the video is already with lecturer,what is over is over,if you guys want to make the matter big then go ahead because not i am not going to argue about it and i am going to prepare for my vp next project,for your information the date line is already over,in the first place dateline is dateline,sorry to say but i can't take failure like anyone,going into ITE is already my mistake so i hope to do well and get into poly,i'm not trying to be proud but i just want to make my stand clearly that i only want to get good grades and be better next time and pay back my parent hard earn work,sorry maybe because of this alot of people are unhappy with me but yeah this is my thinking,i can't take failure,if i were to then i will really go crazy,only one person saw what happened to me when the worst grade i got was a 60 marks..i go crazy like no body and started cutting myself,sometimes i just felt so tired until the point where that i want to end everything immediately ...i am really tired.................................PROBLEM COMING ONE AFTER ANOTHER NONE STOP

anyone unhappy with my post are most welcome to leave

2009-05-29T19:20:00.000-07:00

Surprise to wake up so late this morning,too tired i guess but finally i can get some rest soon,last night spend whole night doing editing and then this morning went school to hand up my coffee book =D hehe and as for my 3D mr graham taught me some basic after effect after school yesterday before i went down to meet yong long,serene and nico,after effect is amazing! it can do all sort of stuff =D want to learn more about it,exams date are approaching soon but later i need to go out and do some shopping,it's time to relax myself abit before i get back to work again,camp instructor called me down to join them to become instructor but however i am going back to school to learn more stuff so decided not to attend =( and i will be looking for a job soon,gotta get stuff that i need!

anyone unhappy with my post are most welcome to leave

2009-05-28T11:46:00.000-07:00

Copied from jessica blog
The reasons why i want to copy and write everything here is because i felt that i have enough
it's fine even if you don't want to listen but i don't wish to become enemies with anyone

Jessica:[I know I'm in the wrong too but that does not give her any reason to scream her head off at me. She screamed at me on the first day, I already did not say anything. But that does not mean that when I don't say anything, she have the right to ride over my head. I've been helping her to do all her paperwork stuff when it has nothing to do with me. I ignored all my other projects just to do all her paperwork for her. She's getting those grades but not me. I'm not her maid or servant whom she can call for as and when she wants to.
If anyone is unhappy about what I write, please leave immediately!]

Hui Min:[ have you realize that you have been repeating the same old stuff over and over again?I don't wish to quarrel with anyone neither do i want to become enemies with anyone,okay first thing, i know i was wrong to talk in a louder tone on the phone that day asking where are you guys,because the first thing was you guys was late but i had never scream at you on set as far as i remembered,if i did then i will apologize to you here. okay you said that i am getting those grades but not you,first thing i want to ask you is what module is that? so far there isn't any result coming out except for COG and DPH but this 2 have no link for the VP, you are busy so am i,everyone is not just us =) sorry to say this but i got the grades for COG because i did learned extra stuff from lecturer during the holiday and i am the only student who went back so if i managed to went ahead of you guys first..as for DPH,so far we are only doing asisgnment and most of the assignment we had done have nothing to do with VP except for the coffee book,i got an A for does not have any link for the VP because all this assignment we had done it before the VP project comes in..then lastly for your post, if you don't mind would you list out the stuff and words i said to you to make you feel like you are my maid or servant?] =D

Jessica:[I can accept this reason but it does not give her an excuse to treat human beings that way. Have you ever thought that what if I was the cast and she treated me that way? How would you feel? You never ever put yourself in my shoes before you accuse me and put the blame on me. Have you ever thought that what if I went down alone from my house and I need to bring the things down all by myself? There will be no one to help me. Please think of my feelings before you say things to hurt me.

Hui Min:[I understand that this is partly my fault however if you were the director are you able to direct better then me and confirm that no one will get injured in the end?sorry to say that but i think that for every action film there will confirm be injuries in the end for sure so at here i apologize to them,and also because i knew that they were injured,all the fight scene for the last day i only took one take for the scene]

Jessica:[You apologized to us yet you wrote a long essay in your blog. Why did you suddenly change your blog url? Why are you so scared to let us read when you have the guts to write?
Please get it clear that it is not US who ask your brother to push the trolley. It is your brother who think that it is fun to play with and wanted to push it. Your brother is a cast Nico is not is it? Why when Nico helped us to push the trolley you never say anything but scolded us when your brother pushes it?
You apologised to Nico yet not Kellie. So Nico is your cast and Kellie is not is it? Don't apologised in front of us and write stuffs about us behind our back. I dare to do, I dare to admit. The only mistake I ever did on set was being late. You can write a whole page of negative stuff about me for reflection and I'm still not scared because I know that I did not do anything wrongly and the others know it too. Even if the other lecturers want to shoot me, I'm also not scared because I'm prepared to be scolded and I have the answers to their questions.
If you have anything unhappy with me, you can happily say it in front of me. DO NOT say things behind my back and act like an angel in front of me. I HATE this kind of people.
We thought that you have changed for the better. But your true colours are back once more. Even Yong Long helped you to say good things in front of Mr Boi. But what did he get in return? He might have done many things wrongly which I was also angry about. But I don't show him attitude. I give him the respect that he deserved.
You shooed us all out when you want to shoot and shouted for us only when you needed us to do things for you. Your attitude wasn't good and you commended them instead of telling them nicely.
Serene told you that Kellie was not feeling well. Yet all you can say is "We'll start shooting in 10 minutes time." Don't you even care about her health? Are your grades that important to you? No matter how scared you are of failure, this is not the way to treat a human being. This is a life! Are you going to answer to her parents if anything happen to her? I can tell you honestly that her parents are very unhappy that we got her daughter injured and all I can say is sorry to them. I'm answering all these things for you, yet all I get are all the bad comments.
When things run smoothly and turn out to be successful, you messaged me to thank me. Yet when things turn out badly, you did not say a single thanks or sent me any

Hui Min:[Somethings i shouldn't say here,my younger brother have heart problem and he can't exercise or sweat too much,by right i wasn't allowed to bring him out for shoot anymore after the previous one for 48 hour and because of this my parent was very angry with me but i have no choice but to bring my younger brother along as you guys can't find the cast,and when did i ever scold you guys for pushing the trolley?Nico was the one who volunteered to help in the first place,by right all this should be gaffer job to carry stuff but however we are still student =) i apologised to nico as i only got his number,i wanted to say sorry to keillie for her injured,hmmm sorry to say that,have you realize that you have been repeating the injured matter over and over again? anyway you were saying that i was writing about you guys stuff,in the first place if nothing goes wrong do you think i have anything to write?if you are talking about the stuff in my blog,try reading it before you say=)and if you were talking about my blog,what is a blog for?it is to accumulate people daily stuff =D yes you were wrong for being late for about 7 hour for the 2 days of shoot,first day 2 and a half hour,second day about 5 hour,sorry to say that,i know that you are older then us that's why i thought your thinking would be different,but the way you talk,frankly speaking it scare me off because i find that the way you talk is firece to me,i wanted to tell you this in the first place when i choose you as my group member but whenever you speak you just sound so firece,have you realise that when you say something in our group,most of the time there isn't any comment back? as for waht lecturer are going to say to you are none of my business,i only heard comment from them.

Jessica :[If you have anything unhappy with me, you can happily say it in front of me. DO NOT say things behind my back and act like an angel in front of me. I HATE this kind of people. ]

Hui Min:[sorry to ask but is this sentence refering to me? if you think so then i have nothing to comment about if i make you think this way,then now comes yong long stuff,are you saying i didn't respect him?in what way?would you mind listing it out,and also in the first place you yourself already stated that he made alot of mistake so what do you think as a director would react to this matter?
I won't shoot or comment about anyone who didn't do anything wrong,you said that my attidute was poor? what is the reasons that make me react this way? 5 hour late lei,not 5 mintues =D same old thing again about the injure matter, this is another time i apologize to them here once again because i admit it was my fault

Jessica:[When things run smoothly and turn out to be successful, you messaged me to thank me. Yet when things turn out badly, you did not say a single thanks or sent me any]

Hui Min:[ after the shoot i did sent you a message to say i am sorry to you didn't i?? for talking to you in a louder tone on the phone... i still have that message with me,want me to show it to you? =D

Jessica:[ Hui Min gave me attitude the moment she saw me and during the whole shoot she was shouting at everyone. I apologised for being late. I know that it's my fault that's why I did not show attitude or put on a black face. But I really needed help in bringing the things down. Try pushing a trolley with equipments on it and going to the supermarket to buy 9 bottles of 1.5 litres of water, 9 packets of rice and prayer items for the 'good brothers'. If I don't wait for Yong Long, who is going to help me? Both my ankles were sprained and one of my hand was swollen. Kellie is our cast and I don't expect her to do free labour to help me carry all the stuff. In the end eat and drink also never say thanks to me. For two days, you did not even use the words thank you, sorry and please. How do you want others to respect you when you don't even respect others? We were late so we did not say anything when you all arrived at the house. But you told Nico to let us wait since we let you guys wait for us. Since you had your revenge why are you still showing me your fucking attitude? What really pissed me off is the message you sent me. "Where the hell are you all now? My brother did not went for tuition today all because of this shoot and if I were to know you guys would be late I would have sent him to tuition and also not to wake up at 5am just because of the 7.30 call time. Fucking pissed off. Make us wait for 5 hours until now!" Grades are not everything! So what if your brother missed a lesson of tuition? I missed almost 2 months of night class just because of your script and other paperwork that is none of my business everyday after school and my o's are in 2 months time. I'm not even complaining so why are you? If you think that not praying before you shoot is fine then go ahead. Anything happens on set are you going to be responsible? Just think about your shoot on Saturday and Sunday. Did you even notice the differences in the number of takes and how smoothly the shoot went? Have you think about the health of your casts and their safety? Kellie was already vomitting and yet you did not even ask if she was feeling ok. All you asked was whether we can continue shooting and in a tone that wasn't very nice. Kellie and Nico are helping us without getting anything in return. They are injured just because of the fighting scene yet all you can think about is whether you can finish shooting or not. You did not even care for them and asked if they were ok. When they are badly injured, you just shouted at them demanding the reason why they stopped. You even yelled at Nico when he was giving suggestions for the fighting scene. Did you even think of your casts' feelings? On Saturday you did not even want to let your crews and casts to go for break. You have eaten but some have not. I planned the timeline yet you did not want to use it and did not even tell me that there were going to be changes until I show you what I did. I'm like a bloody idiot doing something that I don't even need to do. You left early just because you need to bring your brother home and you did not even help us to pack up our stuffs and equipment. Saturday you left there early too without helping Kellie to pack the house as promised and went home empty handed. So do you think your injuries is everything? My two ankles are sprained, so can I just stay at home and let you guys do the work? I still came down and carried the heavy stuffs. But did I complain? It was you who asked us not to show a black face on set yet you vented your anger on all of us. Do you think it is fair for us? We know that we are supposed to be silent on set. But car going past is not our fault yet you yelled at us to SHUT UP! When I was talking to those 'war people' to negotiate silence for your shoot, you shouted 'SILENCE ON SET' freaking loud. I'm talking with people to help you better in shooting the video and make your life much more easy. Yet you came out and asked us to SHUT UP again. What do I get in return by helping you? I don't owe you anything! You can don't care about your crews and casts but only your grades, but I can't do that. I can give up my grades and I will still care for them. You are not being fair to any of us.
Sorry to all casts and crew members that I was rather fierce on set and during meetings. But I've already explained to all of you my reason for scolding you all and have also apologised. I hope that you all can understand. But if you don't understand, there is nothing much to say but only sorry.

Hui Min:[i understand that you were injured,so did i and so is everyone,try pushing a trolley with equipment by myself and i did it,remember the 48 hour competition?you were late for like more then 4 hour for the 2 days of shoot as well and no matter how i woke you up you just can't so i carry all the equipment down by myself without any one help and that time we even have more stuff, my mood is not much better then anyone but i also tried to control myself,before that shoot that day my dad got into car accident,first day of shoot we can't even shoot and we had to rush on the second day and yet you guys were late,if you think that as a director i am angry then it is my fault then i will say sorry here too,second day i was late by 10minutes so i apologize to you guys who were late for2 and a half hour =D i did said there is no time for break but after that i still let you guys go for break for an hour and get ready everything though you guys were late for hour..

there are quite a few things that you kept repeating so yeah all the answer is here =D if you are still unhappy with me then i have no choice but at least i hope we are still friends

2009-05-28T08:37:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow submitting for the 3 project,not going to sleep tonight again =( my bed is calling for me~ this couple of days have been going in and out of NUH and yesterday went to NUH again and this time round i got lost in NUS at 11.30am going to midnight soon because i took the wrong bus-__- sorry but i am the type of clumsy people who always tend to forget things or do things wrongly,taking a 5 minute break before i go back to do my editing and 3D rendering again

2009-05-27T08:54:00.001-07:00

ever since we start our shoot i haven been sleeping for more then 3 hour a day starting on last Friday ,on Monday itself i went home at midnight 2am after doing editing,Tuesday went to hospital to accompany my cousin and stay over night at my friend house to do my DPH so totally didn't even sleep ,3rd day which is now..doing my 3D rendering as well as some VP editing...this morning when i still went to school despite how tired i am...during the lecturer lesson i felt totally in a lost,it just seem like nothing is working well,by right i was ready to do my DPH printing this morning but my picture still need to do some final editing in result of delaying the time to tomorrow morning,i hope i will be able to finish it...got to chiong tonight,i just does not know how long i can hang in there.i am so tired until the point where i over shot the number of train station i was suppose to alight at and when i stand up i suddenly got a black out =( i know that Jessica and serene is very unhappy with me,yes i admit that it was my fault for not showing so much concern for the cast but that does not mean that i am not concern about them,don't say until as though i make them take off their clothes and start raping each other,anyway what is over is over,today mr Dominic anouns us the grades we got for DPH assignment

2009-05-24T23:29:00.000-07:00

everything was so not going well,2nd day,yong long was late for 3 hour,jessica and the rest was late too for about 2 hour,3rd day,they were late for 5 hour and if they were not late we would have been able to do much better because we only left with 3 hour to shoot the entire scene,most likely i will be doing the editing..3rd day i woke up at 5am just for that call time at 7.30 and i make my brother wake up so early and skip his tuition,because of this my parents was unhappy with me already,actually i could have just let my brother off because as a director i don't even need to care about the cast and the location,i thanks the producer for helping me with my script(editing the english)...but try standing in my shoes and think,i know it was my fault for shouting however the 2nd day i was already not in a good mood because of my family problem and my crew were late and the actual cast leaving at 10.30 when we only reached the place at 10,no one knows how to go to the actual location...we wasted about an hour and we reached the place at 10am..then as for my cast she back out last minute,we had to change our cast...for the past 3 days i slept less then 5 hour and today i just cab all the way down to school JUST to pass them the camera..don't say i went home empty handed because 2nd day when i was going back home,yong long and the rest were the one who told me they don't need me to carry anything home when i offered my help,on the last day i helped to take the equipment home which is the camera..by right producer should be the one taking the equipment home,believe me or not,if don't just go and ask anyone in the industy...even for the horror amazing race,producer was the one taking the equipment home,AND on as a director and art director we should be the one going down to the place,art director packing and arranging the stuff at the house to make it as what the director say so...not the producer,the gaffer should be the one collecting and carrying the equipment..since my producer say that director,cameramen as well as the soundman and the art director should go and collect the equipment,i said nothing but respect the decision she made...and on that day when we collected the equipment...yong long and jessica did not came to school,try telling this to the people working in the industry and they will fuck you guys off..last night after i cab home and sent my brother home, i rushed down to lakeside to do the some editing,i did the editing until quite late and yet this morning i only slept 2 hour then i cab down to return the camera to them....yes i agreed that everyone did their best and i have nothing to say except for them late for 7 hour in total for shoot..(nice right..half a day GONE)my shoot was screw up because of the call time as well as the cast because they were late..it is not that i am not concern for them and don't say that i didn't give them break time,i only said it when i was mad but after that they still went for an hour break isn't it..i don't pray not because i don't want but by right i can't pray because of the reasons i had for my family..i guess i am not fierce enough,i did shouted and i admit it was my fault but after that everything was fine already...all because of this i had fever after i went home last night and i almost fainted,i injured my hand,back and leg just because i rehearsed with the cast and help the gaffer to carry stuff...i know everyone is injured,if you guys think i am wrong,please correct me..i am really sorry if i have made you guys think so,i'm sorry if the cast is injured but if you need to shoot action scene,there will confirm be someone who will be injured in the end,everything just don't need to go according to plan..if the call time is 5pm and if we reached early,just have to change the time only...never to find cast that are your friend and i was so not happy when those unwanted people came and just sat there watching us do our stuff even mr boi asked them out,even if your crew example like gaffer cameraman offered to help you find your cast,you yourself should still be responsible to look for it yourself in case anything happen like what had happened,for the location if we can just shoot and run if we really can't get the location,even for industy they also shoot and run so what do you think as a student we can't be more flexiable,the film will only be shown to school and not outside and also by right even if got person gotreasons for not being about to get location,by hock or by cook it is still their fault,on set when camera are rolling people shouldn't be talking,shouting slience on set is because the camera are rolling already..unless you want to hear your voice inside the film then i have nothing to say then..shoot me with what ever you have because i don't find anything i have done is wrong except for the 2nd day when i shouted because they were late,you try telling lecturer that i shouted because you guys were late and see what happen?the lecturer would say the same thing as me too..believe me,in industry if you guys were late,you confirm get fuck off by the director and ask you to go back home already..not to say if you hold an important role and you were late?the 3rd day when you guys were late for 5 hour i was even angry,but in the end i still went there and try to calm myself down and let you guys for break for an hour after the producer told them to eat.i said nothing after that except for me shouting silene on set when the camera are rolling,i appreciate your help for doing all this for me but the camera are rolling,is it my fault for shouting silence on set?if you can't work with me,trust me..the next project are still going to be the same for the group you will be working with,i am counted nice to all of you already,help to carry equipment and do this and that...3D assignment done =D now only left with the DPH...

2009-05-23T09:09:00.000-07:00

Time check, 12.10...just got back home together with my younger brother,tomorrow call time, 7.30 but i still can't go to bed yet,no matter what i have to finish my 3D max today,if possible i will try to edit it with after effect..things was not going really well,guess maybe because i have not enough sleep then feel abit shag when mr boi came to look for us...when he came my mind just went blank..it's like someone who got more experience watching the way i am doing so i feel abit nervous,as for the cast which is our female lead,we changed it due to the tight schedule we had,luckily we changed but there is still some problem going on beside that...watched the flashback scene,i feel that it is okay but for the duration i am not sure whether it will be enough or not,this morning all of the crew was late! it pissed me off because even me myself i didn't sleep last night yet i am able to reached,though we were unhappy about each other attitude but once we step into work it was alright except for jessica i think as she seem to be very disappointed with a few crew and so it kind of pissed her off until the point where she shouted,but as for me i endure and endure until when i can't take it i just talk to them in a corner nicely,just now when my group they were having their dinner i did not have because i was not feeling well and the moment when i woke up after a short break,i almost fainted and my leg go numb straight away,had a bad dream during the sleep, can't really remember what was it about but it was scary.....on set there was some miscommunication between those people who came when they were actually not suppose to be there,by right yeah they shouldn't be but since they are there i am fine since they already arrived,i don't really care whether it is my friend or not but when it is work,i mean it,it is not like i want to chase or ask people out of the room or not but because the cast won't be able to fully perform when there is like alot of people watching,then when i asked them out they seem to be angry,even mr boi asked them to go out,i feel no respect as a director,no one seem to care about me except for few of my crew...actually everything can go well but just that i am not feeling well and also that i am abit confused due to the cut scene here and there and jump scene

2009-05-22T10:15:00.001-07:00

doing a quick post right now,i just took my shower and right now doing my 3D project,decided to change my whole concept for it,time check 1.16am,i came back home from novena after i met both my lecturer mr nick and boi as they were helping us to check our camera,wandering why every time when i have planned everything nicely there will confirm be some cock up in the end,thanks Antonio for calling me so many times and tried to solve the problem for me however this time round it is the camera fault,those people who was on set should know what had happened,tomorrow my call time is 7am and i need to wake up at 5am to prepare,freaking tired after not having much sleep for the past few days,still have 3 more days to chiong....my dad got into an accident yesterday and his right hand and leg are injured due to the big impact he received during the accident however he still came to fetch me home together with my mum as they were worried about me,thanks! really touch by that,feel upsad to see him injured, actually today everything was well planned already although our female cast have tight schedule due to her interview tomorrow and the younger kid who need to leave at 4pm,the time given to us seem to be totally impossible for us to shoot finish but i believe that if we work together well,nothing will goes wrong...haix but now is that the camera we took have some problem...without camera it is equal to nothing,feeling damn frustrated because of that bloody camera....arrrhh why does bad things always happen to me???

2009-05-21T05:30:00.000-07:00

i'm doing my 3D stuff now,just now around 6pm received my mum call and told me that my dad is currently now in hospital as he got into a car accident at orchard road ,feeling damn sad and worried for him...that moment when i heard the news i wanted to rush down to see my dad but however i was out to do my DPH assignment and mum told me to go home immediately to take care of my younger brother,what should i do?? i am very worried now...my mum said that my dad leg and arm are badly injured...just now i met up with lynn and melody and went back home after i finish my DPH,thanks lynn for comforting me just now when i feel so lost after i heard the news...i'm in a serious bad mood now,why does all the unlucky stuff always happen to me??

2009-05-20T02:54:00.000-07:00

i just reached home and later on i am going to start doing my 3D project,today just got my mac book,thanks ah long and serene for accompanying me all the way down to toapayo just to collect it,i alway wish that i could have one whenever i saw my friends who own one themselves,this time round using my scholarship that i have been receiving for the past few years to pay for it,$2769 bucks gone T__T gosh~ and today we had our DPH test,i'm not that confident in getting high marks but at least should be able to pass as i did study a little last night,actually i was studying but halfway through antonio called me to chat so yeah i agreed because i wanted to give myself a short break,then without knowing we chat all the way until 3am,was talking crap with him and had fun laughing so by the time when we finish our conversation on phone i was like oh my god,it's damn late already and i am starting to get tired so i stop studying from there,lol -___- next time when anyone want to chat with me better check the time first =) i solved the misunderstanding between my crew because i talked nicely to them and they told me what happened...i'm so looking forward to the shoot and hope to have fun with them at the same time!

2009-05-19T06:25:00.001-07:00

i simply do not know how to describe the feelings i am having now,trying to swap away the tears in my eye that kept on rolling down and i've tried to appear strong in front of others,i'm tired of it already,it's like wearing a fake mask telling people that i am a very happy and cheerful girl,Yes! instead i am but not anymore, the more i try to forget the things that happened,the more upsad i became,yesterday when i was in the train i thought i saw you,but in fact it was not you,i just mistaken that person as you,it have been about a month since you left me and this world...whenever i think of you i would cry,i tried to endure my tears from rolling down but i just can't,Today was the worst day ever,i had never felt so lost in my life before just because i lost something that someone important to me gave it to me when he left too,the only thing he had given to me,i just burst out of tears immediately when i found out that i lost it...i felt so helpless,so sad,so lost...really hope that i could get it back,wanted to ask my lecturer mr boi for help just now when i was going down to meet him to pass him the equipment form but however when i saw him i just stood still,wanted to ask him to help me open the lecturer room as i suspect i lost it there but it was as if my mouth got stick by glue,i could hardly talk..perhaps because i just cried finish, my equipment form finally signed and this coming friday i am going to start shooting,time is really running out,tomorrow class test,gosh~ and this coming thursday i will be out shooting for my DPH assignment,actually i wanted to give up however i think that i should at least give it a try because the marks i got for all my module are not too bad so i shouldn't just give up now, but time is really running out,wed which is tomorrow i am going to start my 3D animation,thurdays for DPH shoot,friday,sat,sun i have got shoot, monday continue with 3D hopefully can finish by then,tuesday,wed got editing to do for VP..as for thursday all the projects got to hand up,3 in one goal,seriously i am sure i won't be able to make it..it's too much,so much that i can't cope,just now we had audition in school and happy to say that our cast have been confirm...tomorrow after school i am going down to collect my macbook..that's all for today,need time to calm myself down,i am really sad,thanks ying xian daddy and pei rong for the jokes that they made to make me laugh just now when i was crying =)

2009-05-18T08:12:00.000-07:00

time check 11.11,just came back home from bishan after meeting up with my cousin pearly today,right now i am feeling exhausted but i had lots of fun laughing just now with her and her boyfriend,before we cab down to bishan we were at AMK hub. I was there early as my class ends early today,met her up in the mrt station and went to shop around there,i was abit lost as i don't really shop that often,the place that i normally shop is only in town area,but anyway pearly boyfriend is a really nice and funny guy but it shows that he is a serious and straight person when it comes to work,thanks him for treating me to pepper lunch as well as coffee bean...pearly you are such a cute and sweet girl as well haha, yeah i love to joke as well but i just doesn't know how to joke as much sometimes so i will just keep quiet and listen =) School was fine today,we learned Premier just now during VP lesson and actually i wanted to let mr boi sign our equipment loan form today however we can't as our document ain't ready yet,the only document we are left now are call sheet as well as the director treatment...gosh~ the deadline makes me panic too,3 project (3D, DPH, VP) it's all due on the 29 June,for goodness sake we are human,not super human,so many things to be done,i am sure i won't be able to complete it,most likely it is either i don't hand up one..haix then the following week is exams....

2009-05-16T20:06:00.000-07:00

Sometimes the truth might end up hurting others ,somethings turned out so unexpectedly.Yesterday i reached home at 12am as i had meeting with my group members,so far there isn't any problems going on expect for the 2 group members who have not been participating a lot so my group members also think that they are not taking the initiative to even ask what is going on,so we decided to talk to them nicely on monday and let they get the whole picture of what is going on,we had fun time talking and eating in Swensen =) my storyboard almost done! have been doing it since last night,my group members said that the drawing was not too bad,i was still afraid that they might not like it,i got shock because of yong long as he had 2 main course,desert,soup and side yesterday,GOSH~ it's alot hahaha but luckily he got the voucher to cover more then half of his bill, anyway i really enjoy being with them especially with Jessica and ying xian =) thanks guy!

i would always remind myself that as a student,my role is to study and get good grades =)

2009-05-15T10:40:00.000-07:00

The crazy me blogging again, time check 1.42 am, giving myself a short break before i continue with my storyboard again,had just finished my conversation with my dearest cousin Pearly,so sweet & nice of her =) we have so much things in common,it's alot ! example like the things we like to eat, the month we were born and we both have tiger teeth as well as the type of guy we go for =) that was the best topic we talk about, we both prefer guys who are older then us, i must and have to admit that she is brave enough to accept someone who is 15 or older then her age,actually i don't mind too,if i have someone like hers i would be more then happy to accept because guys at their age are mature in thinking and being with them makes you feel secure,appearance is not a matter,what matter most is the feelings,be it fat or skinny,smart or stupid, feelings give the final call...the only things we are different between me and my dear cousin is our age i think,i am 17 this year while she is 20,but so what we have so many things in common to talk about,talking to her help me to distress,haha as i am always laughing,she is a cute and nice girl i must admit =D thanks! right now doing my storyboard and tomorrow got to meet swee kiat out for outing shoot for coffee book assignment..3D assignment is the thing i am worry about however i might ask my aunt boyfriend for help as he is currently working in the media industry as well but he is more towards post production area now a days and he also do 3D stuff where as he used to be more towards production area.

2009-05-15T03:15:00.000-07:00

life is always so unpredictable,you will never know what will happen next,treasure everyone around you especially your family members,yesterday my friend grandma just part from this world,i understand how she felt,the sudden lost of the close one,learn to accept the fact and move on,this kind of sentence is something what you would normally hear from your friends or so but for me, i won't use this kind of sentences to comfort my friend,i would instead bring her to somewhere to cry everything out,i have been through it twice this year during my holiday and it happens on the same month and it is really hard for me to move on so what i did was i went to somewhere quiet alone almost everyday and cry my heart out,sound crazy isn't it,yeah but it's true,sometimes you just have to let your trouble and sadness out by crying or you would be like a bomb who might blow up anytime and if you were to blow everything out in one goal,trust me..it is going to be scary,the last time i blow up i almost commit suicide,i know it's silly however that is how silly i am...i know that crying does not help you to solve the problem however it makes you feel better,i might appear strong in front of people but in fact i'm not at all,i believe everyone have a weak side of their own but it's just a matter of whether you want to reveal it out or not,frankly speaking i am a very hot tempered person who can do alot of crazy stuff to people who provoked me however ever since i step into ITE i promise myself to change and put my past behind,I might tell my friends around me that they are fierce,scary or what so ever but no one had really seen the real me who is ten times more fierce and scary then them(evil laugh) =) don't worry, like i said, i have decided to put the past behind me so i won't let people see the past me, normally i would keep quiet and smile at them,hahaha see how friendly the dinosaur is =p

Thanks daddy =D

2009-05-14T06:12:00.000-07:00

This couple of days have been going home late as i have to conduct meeting with my group members to discuss about the project and my dad came to fetch me home after that,thanks daddy =) he might look fierce at times but he do care for me but just that he use other ways to show his care for me,studio shoot,phase test,VP class test finished! gosh what a relief but not for long,now need to worry about my coffee book as well as the DPH& VP exams are coming up on the 3rd & 5th June and last but not least my 3D project...my group members are so caring that make me speechless for the action they had done especially jessica,she is like the elder sister in our group and the thing is that i am afraid of eating together with her as she would always nag at me for eating rubbish food =p haix no buying of chocolate and tibits when i am in Co-op shop or else i will get nag from serene as well .lols but still the same old word "it's all for your own good...". Our school is having a road show and it allow student to buy desktop or laptop though hire purchase so i had decided to buy a mac book this time round,can't wait to buy it as soon as possible =p tomorrow is the last day so peepo who are interested to buy don't let this chance go away,if i were to buy it,i will have to pay 64 bucks per month and the interest for one year is 100 bucks,the mac book itself cost $2790...GOSH!! my pocket is going to have a big hole

2009-05-11T08:52:00.000-07:00

special thanks to my group members for accompanying me until 11.10 at bugis just to discuss about the shot list together just now,i really appreciate the help given by them,without them i guess i won't be able to laugh so happily while discussing the story and also i would really want to thanks serene and Jessica for brain washing me just now when we were on our long bus journey trip from simei to bugis,This morning during our COG lesson mr john was not really in a good mood so he locked those people outside for being late,yeah right this was the first time he had been so straight toward us however i understand the reasons why he would want to do this then as for VP lesson as usual,discuss about the project.Mr boi was on leave so he wasn't there,i felt kind of disappointed with my own slow process in work,i will work harder! so i apologize to my crew for my slow process in work,i thought they would be angry or so but in fact they encourage me to work harder and work together with me to finish up the stuff =D so glad to have their positive respond,we had a meeting again in break time as well as the lunch time to discuss and have lunch together,quite a tiring day though but the encouragement kept me motivated,anyway got a couple more event coming up from BL i heard as well as some of my school stuff

The one and only that i love most

2009-05-09T23:27:00.000-07:00

my first post for this blog,the word press i have decided to keep it as private for my own use.what a bad Sunday morning for me as my dad called me and my siblings out to the living room for a talk early in the morning at 9am,somethings happened at home yesterday made my dad blow up this morning,he always killed my younger brother,haven seen him so angry like this for years,it is true that my dad and mum dote on him however he did something that made my dad real angry(shall not reveal it here),not forgetting my dad used to be a commander during his army life,he is able to give command to so many people,what makes him can't even take care of his own child,it is true that he is a very straight but he is also a very reasonable person,if you did something wrong he won't lost his temper and normally he would only talk to us about it as he told us that he treats us as young adults but this time round i understand why he lost his temper,my dad used to be a very hot tempered person,i remembered once when i was young i did something bad in the public and made him very angry however he gave me face by not scolding me on the spot,he said to me"you will get it once you are back home" when i reached home,he tied me up with ropes and hit me badly,this was not the worst treatment i have ever received,he ever locked me up for days and not letting me to eat and when i did something wrong in front of him he would straight away throw anything that is in front of me toward me and hit me,he won't care whether it is a glass or meter made material,he would just throw it right toward me,not forgetting he used to be a basketball player so his aiming is even better,after all this lesson i learned what is right and what is wrong and what i should and should not do in front of him but no matter what he had done to me,he is still the one and only dad that i love most,he once told me when he was very down during my grandpa funeral,he said"girl,you are the only person who understand me the most,if anything were to happen to me,please help me to look after the family" the next moment we cried together,never once in my life had i seen my dad cried,not even once until that time..in everyone of our eyes he seem to be the strongest..after he finished talking to us about the matter,i went back to my room and rot half the day inside doing my work,nothing much to do at home however i missed my home so much,calculating the hours that i stay at home......today i was suppose to meet yanxin out but ended up i didn't as everyone can't make it for today as it was mother's day,talking about this,my mum was pretty upset or should i say very disappointed with what my brother had done,i wished my mum a happy mother's day but she still looked very down =(